I fear that sometimes in our lives, it’s easier to run, to stray, and to wander away. The more numb you can grow toward the pursuit of God in your life, the grip he has on your soul, and the weight with which he convicts your heart, the better chance we feel we have to live a peaceable life. If there is no one around to convict, to question, and to challenge us, then we can eat, drink and be merry in peace. We can live a fearless life, or careless one rather. So often do we as Christians wrestle with convictions and questions: Should I really be so committed to this faith if it restricts me from having “fun”? Should I do this or that? Should I dwell on this situation that is out of my control? Should I associate myself with these friends or those business partners? Should I really be spending so much time in these fleeting areas of my life? If God is good, why does he allow suffering? If the church is supposedly living for the God of the Bible, then why is everyone a hypocrite? How is God’s existence and the fact that he created the world supported by science? There are many other questions and convictions like these, that attempt to draw the Christian further away from the Lord, and sometimes it certainly seems like it would be easier to give into these feelings of the flesh. But it mustn’t be so.
C.S. Lewis is a perfect example of this wrestling. In his spiritual autobiography “Surprised By Joy” he tells of his journey of faith. Growing up in a home that valued faith, having faith in his youth, facing tragedy at a young age, eventually he walked away from his faith during the teenage years and wandered long and far down the road of the world. He was a brilliant and educated man, he wrestled with deep questions of philosophy and God, he silenced the convictions of sin in his life as he lived for his own physical pursuits and pleasures. Yet, he reached a point where he could run no longer. He speaks of how badly he wanted to run from God, how easy a life without having to wrestle with him would be, but he couldn’t resist what he feared would inevitably happen. God chased him down, sought him out, and drew Clive Staples Lewis unto himself. Lewis very poetically writes,
“Dangers lie in wait for him on every side…Amiable agnostics will talk cheerfully about ‘man’s search for God’. To me, as I then was, they might as well have talked about the mouse’s search for the cat.”
He could not resist the truth of God and the unrelenting bounty the lord had placed on his head. For now, C.S. Lewis had to deal with what he feared most. As he came to salvation in Christ, he had to deal with the conviction of the Holy Spirit that he had feared so much. He had to reconcile the truth of God’s Word with his philosophical and academic understanding of the world and humanity. But what he found was not fear and trouble in his heart, nor the restraining questions and convictions that he was scared of. What he found was truth and joy. Truth revealed to him more and more each day by the counselor, the advocate, the helper, the Holy Spirit, God in him! What he found was that the Holy Spirit provided peace to his heart, joy in his soul, and an understanding in his mind that even when he couldn’t make sense of the things that didn’t make sense, he had peace. It was a peace providing understanding that he couldn’t get from the world, but only from the one who overcame the world. So, for you and for me, it’s important that we pursue the reminders, the teaching, and the truth that the Holy Spirit provides as we question, are convicted, wonder, and wander. Sweeping conviction under the rug as a way to rid ourselves of our problems is not the answer, but finding peace in the one who holds our problems, is the answer—which we can only do by leaning into the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
C.S. Lewis is a perfect example of this wrestling. In his spiritual autobiography “Surprised By Joy” he tells of his journey of faith. Growing up in a home that valued faith, having faith in his youth, facing tragedy at a young age, eventually he walked away from his faith during the teenage years and wandered long and far down the road of the world. He was a brilliant and educated man, he wrestled with deep questions of philosophy and God, he silenced the convictions of sin in his life as he lived for his own physical pursuits and pleasures. Yet, he reached a point where he could run no longer. He speaks of how badly he wanted to run from God, how easy a life without having to wrestle with him would be, but he couldn’t resist what he feared would inevitably happen. God chased him down, sought him out, and drew Clive Staples Lewis unto himself. Lewis very poetically writes,
“Dangers lie in wait for him on every side…Amiable agnostics will talk cheerfully about ‘man’s search for God’. To me, as I then was, they might as well have talked about the mouse’s search for the cat.”
He could not resist the truth of God and the unrelenting bounty the lord had placed on his head. For now, C.S. Lewis had to deal with what he feared most. As he came to salvation in Christ, he had to deal with the conviction of the Holy Spirit that he had feared so much. He had to reconcile the truth of God’s Word with his philosophical and academic understanding of the world and humanity. But what he found was not fear and trouble in his heart, nor the restraining questions and convictions that he was scared of. What he found was truth and joy. Truth revealed to him more and more each day by the counselor, the advocate, the helper, the Holy Spirit, God in him! What he found was that the Holy Spirit provided peace to his heart, joy in his soul, and an understanding in his mind that even when he couldn’t make sense of the things that didn’t make sense, he had peace. It was a peace providing understanding that he couldn’t get from the world, but only from the one who overcame the world. So, for you and for me, it’s important that we pursue the reminders, the teaching, and the truth that the Holy Spirit provides as we question, are convicted, wonder, and wander. Sweeping conviction under the rug as a way to rid ourselves of our problems is not the answer, but finding peace in the one who holds our problems, is the answer—which we can only do by leaning into the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives.