We can do nothing without Christ! It's amazing, just a few weeks ago we talked about how God is always with us. We have been looking into the story and life of Joseph and how God tells us time and time again how He was with Joseph. He went through many terrible things but he also was given some great privileges! When things were great, he was given a high office in Egypt and essentially ruled over the whole land under Pharaoh. We never see him take the credit for what God was doing in his life. Joseph always understood that the things in his life were a gift from God! He gives credit fully to God for the good things happening in his life and the good that God is doing through Joseph! Joseph recognizes that all good things come from God! We are nothing without our Creator and our Savior! Jesus has done so much for us, through salvation and what He accomplished on the cross, but also in our daily lives. We are nothing without Him! Yet, sometimes when life is good and going our way, we forget about God! It sometimes almost seems easier to remember God in the hard times than it is in the good! He is a good God! Life sometimes feels like a roller coaster. We go through both good times and bad, but God is with us through all of it. The good things that happen in our lives are to be thanks to God who gives us everything we need! The Bible tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit him, and he will make your paths straight,” (Proverbs 3:5-6). God wants us to rely on Him! He wants us to trust in the Lord when the good things come and the bad! We are powerless without our Lord and yet we find ourselves wanting to do everything our own way. We get tired of wanting to rely on the Lord, wait on His timing, and do the things He has laid out for us to do. God has a plan for all His children. Trust in Him!

So many people are always looking for the “silver bullet” to fix their family problems. They believe that if the pastor or podcaster or “self-help guru” can simply give them a “formula,” they can heal their family issues. What pastors have seen over the years is that many people are not willing to “put the work” into their spiritual healing. Instead, most are looking for the easy way or the “quick fix.” The Bible is not a hard book to understand in its most important principles. In fact, it’s quite simple. If you want to “heal your family issues,” you need to have a real and vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ – one that is growing and teachable. As a person abides in Christ, he will stop looking at his spouse or child as the cause of his problems. In deep-rooted “soul searching,” he will begin to understand that HE IS THE ONE that needs to change…first. He will stop “blame-shifting,” and he will humbly look to be more like the Christ who saved his soul. What a person needs is NOT to “ask Jesus into his heart”; he needs to make Jesus LORD OVER HIS LIFE! The greatest gift that you could ever give to your family is to love Jesus more than you love them. At first glance, that seems to be incorrect and even confusing, but remember, Jesus has purpose meant just for you. If your family member is in-tuned to the heart of God, he or she will only encourage that growth in you. When Jesus met with his disciples before dying on The Cross, he made sure to explain to them not only how much he loved them but also what he expected from them. For our families, we want to see results, and so did Jesus with his disciples. He reminded them that they had not chosen him, but he chose them. With that choice, he expected them to “produce the results” of discipleship. Not much is different in a family, a man and woman choose each other and then have children by their own volition. Children are expected to obey their parents, and spouses are expected to respect one another. What each member of your family needs most is a convicting and committed relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s only then that anger, bitterness, pride, guilt, disobedience, and everything else in between can be truly and wholly resolved.

So much can be said about the necessity for us to have a spirit of forgiveness if we want to live happily in this life. To be driven by resentment and to maintain the position of the victim, seldom if ever results in a happy and fruitful life. It is so important for our children to see forgiveness demonstrated in the home. Just like any other relationship, there are times when it seems  my wife and I are speaking two different languages, tensions run high and both of us get frustrated. It’s been my experience that it does not matter if the apparent transgression was big or small. In fact, the small issues can often be more damaging because we are more ready to sweep them under the rug, which leads to us festering about them instead of engaging in discussion or even bringing them into our prayers. If we looked honestly at our experience with these scenarios, we might admit that most of the time we only get as far as concluding that the world or the people around us have harmed us. “They are being jerks and if they would only do, say or think as ‘I’ see fit, none of this would be an issue.” It seems so obvious that it is not a fruitful mindset when you say it out loud, but it is something with which most people struggle. To never bring these things to God and to remain in this position only causes more heartache and turmoil.

The story of Joseph is such a profound application of forgiveness. The betrayal he must have felt to have his own flesh and blood sell him into slavery cannot be overstated. He could have chosen to hold onto that resentment. Once he had risen to power he could have chosen to repay their transgression with fury. Yet when he revealed his identity to his brothers he wept with joy and consoled them. He urged them not to be angry with themselves because of the evil they had done to him. Then he said something remarkable, he implied that the evil they had done to him was actually in accordance with God’s plan and was ultimately used to glorify Him and preserve life. This level of faith and forgiveness sets the standard for all Christians. I believe I am paraphrasing C. S. Lewis who once said something to the effect that, as Christians we are called to forgive even the most aggreges offense because Christ forgave the most aggreges offenses in us.

Children are often equated to sponges in that they absorb and retain information so well. Forgiveness needs to be taught because it is not inherent in the person and often the best way to teach our children is to be a demonstration of these principles that we hold valuable. When we feel as though we have been wronged it is important that we at once seek direction from the Father and pray for guidance in the moment. We hear people tell us that we need to pause and count to ten, when what really needs to happen is to pause and pray. Only after we seek that guidance can we feel confident in moving forward and addressing the problem. Be quick to see where you were wrong. Be quick to initiate those hard conversations with love, grace and forgiveness. Be assured that no matter the wrongs that were committed, they too can be the catalyst for God’s glory. Our children see this and learn far more from our demonstration than from some lecture we could give them. Hopefully, with practice, our demonstration will assure others that Forgiveness Always Wins.

What goes around…comes around, is the saying we are all used to hearing. In Gen. 42-44 we see how Joseph starts to handle how his brothers treated him now that they need his help. The brothers have NO clue Joseph is the man they are dealing with to get the grain they needed, but Joseph knew who they were. To be honest, that is pretty amazing that after all those years and aging,  Joseph knew they were his brothers. I am sure to a point, Joseph had run the day he would see them again through his head a gazillion times. If I were him, I think I would have responded much differently than he did. I have had a similar  situation happen in my life. I had separation from several family members for just over a decade, and when the chance to see them again came about, I thought about how it would go, over and over. I tried to predict the different scenarios of how it might go down. Thankfully it didn’t go even close to the worst scenario I had thought of. The way that Joseph handled the meeting went a lot better than any of us could have predicted. He could have sentenced the brothers to death and said that’s what you get for attempting to kill me but then selling me into slavery instead. Joseph accused his brothers of being spies and trying to scope out what he had. When they can’t prove they are not spies, Joseph puts them in prison for 3 days.  Because of all the questioning, the brothers thought about what they had done to Joseph, even though they had no clue that they were talking to him. They felt bad about what they had done to Joseph. While they were talking, Joseph could hear what they were saying and understood what they were saying. This caused Joseph to weep knowing that they felt bad about what they had done. Joseph asks for one of the brothers to stay imprisoned, and tells them that in order for them to get their brother back and in order to get any more grain, they must bring back with them the youngest brother. He then gives them the grain and all the provisions for their journey, on top of that he puts their money back in their sacks. What Joseph chose to do I believe had a greater purpose than we could understand. We know that he was not angry with them and that he didn’t mean any harm. What he chose to do shows us his character and his trust in the Lord. He chose to follow what God wanted, for him, and for us, “to treat others as we want to be treated”. (Matt 7:12 and Luke 6:31) Joseph shows us an amazing example of how having that character trait can better shape us as people and shape how our families need to be built. 

It’s always easy for us to firmly believe that God always has a plan when life is going great. However, it gets a lot harder to remember that truth when life is not going as we had planned. We see this reality play out in our lives but also in the life of Pharaoh. The problem when reading today's Scripture in Genesis 41 is we often just think about Pharaoh’s dream and how God is showing him what he is about to do as the leader, however, there is something greater in this passage.  A story of trusting in God’s plan no matter your circumstances.  

We read today that pharaoh had dreams that no one could interpret for him, and I imagine he was getting very frustrated, he then called for Joseph to come and try to help him understand these crazy dreams, we see in verses 14 and 15:

“So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh. Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I had a dream, and no one can interpret it. But I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it.”

What often gets forgotten here is that Joseph has been in the dungeon for some time now. He trusted God’s Plan. Pharaoh then asked Joseph to tell him what his dream meant and rather than taking credit for this ability, he gave credit to God. After Joseph was through explaining what was about to happen, Pharaoh decided to put Joseph in charge of the food for the first 7 years. This is the main idea of this passage, it's not about Pharaoh but it's about Joseph and his ability to trust in God’s timing, he was content where God had him. How often do we get upset about our situation or position in life when we are actually right where we are supposed to be, according to God’s plan. One of the powerful things for me in the story of Joseph is that in this situation Joseph combined his faith with action. He created the plan that was needed. You see faith is not passive, rather faith leads to wise decisions.  I hope as you read through today's passage you are able to understand that just like Joseph in his waiting, growth seasons of life are preparation not just for enjoyment. When life is going good or not as planned, don’t just sit back, use it for the larger plan God has for us. It all leads back to one thing, we are called to bring honor and glory to our Heavenly Father. 

I’m sure at some point everyone has experienced a time in their life when a family member, friend, or even a co-worker has hurt them. Maybe it was a birthday party when you were younger, and your cousin blew out your candles before you could. Or maybe it was a friend who shared private information you had trusted them with on social media. In my case, it was my wedding day. A day that was planned for, rehearsed, and carefully thought through. A family member decided to ignore what we had planned and rehearsed and the impact it left lasted a long time. Whether it was as simple as candles or as important as a wedding day, things didn’t go as planned, and you were hurt.

What ran through your head while reading this? Did you think of your own personal experience of hurt? How did you react in that moment? Or maybe you are still working through it? It is easy to let that moment of hurt turn your heart bitter towards those people. I get it, you did nothing to deserve that. Why should you forgive them? While it can be easy to hold onto those thoughts, God calls us to forgive, pray for them, and surrender our hurts to Him.

The good news is that we have lots of examples of how to handle these situations in the story of Joseph. He showed us that no matter the circumstance, we can surrender those situations and trust God has a plan. While Joseph endured multiple injustices, one story highlights how his faith remained constant. While Joseph was in prison he saw an opportunity. He showed kindness to both the cupbearer and the chief baker by interpreting their dreams for them. In Genesis 40:14, he said, “But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison.” In verse 23, it says, “The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.” For two years! I try to imagine what Joseph must have felt during those two years, especially after everything else that happened to him. Lonely? Forgotten? Angry? It would have been so easy for Joseph to harden his heart and seek revenge against those who hurt him. However, despite everything, he chose to continue to trust that God had a plan. He chose forgiveness and to mirror God’s grace.

Although we experience very different circumstances, Joseph shows us there are times in our lives when things don’t go as we plan. We have to choose to rely on God and remain faithful to him. Sometimes we might think we’ve already done that, but we haven’t fully surrendered our pain. Honestly, it was hard for me to do that. A while after my wedding, I said I had forgiven my family member and all was well. But my actions did not speak that. I was still holding on to resentment and anger. It took a lot for me to be able to truly give that hurt to God, not just in my words, but in my heart. I had to let go of the need to replay it, to justify my feelings, and the thought of my expectation of that moment being dismissed and forgotten. In that surrender, I found something I didn’t think was possible: peace. Joseph remained faithful, even when he was forgotten. Will you hold on? Or will you strive to be like Joseph?

How many times have you heard “life isn’t fair?” I heard this over and over from my parents growing up! Growing up with 3 older brothers, I was told this a lot. This section of scripture can feel infuriating for us to read. Joseph was accused of taking advantage of Potiphar's wife; but it was actually the complete opposite! Joseph continued to hold his ground while Potiphar’s wife was pressuring him to lie with her. She held his cloak while he ran from her and she used it to twist the narrative. Potiphar was furious about the accusation (rightfully so, if it was true). He threw Joseph into prison! An innocent man thrown into prison. This scripture is a parallel to Jesus. An innocent man, crucified. Joseph is also an encouraging picture of faithfulness during temptation.

What happened to Joseph is unfair. He didn’t even entertain the idea of stepping into sin with Potiphar’s wife. He was standing firm, but she still accused him and he was punished for it. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair. We have all likely experienced times that bad things have happened to us and we got frustrated or discouraged. Verses 21-23 are like a breath of fresh air. Even though Joseph had every right to be frustrated that God would allow that to happen to him, he wasn’t! God was with Him in prison and the wardens showed him favor. Joseph was put in charge of the other prisoners and succeeded in all that he did! 

Even though he was unjustly accused and punished, he had the comfort and blessings of the Lord. When you place yourself in Joseph’s position, you really have to be honest with how you would react. I know that I would be wrestling with God, likely with frustration and bitterness. However, a good reminder from this story is that God does bless our faithfulness! Even though hard things happen to us, especially within our families, we have to remember that God has a plan. 

Parents, your kids are going to say to you “that’s not fair” hundreds of times. Spouses, you’re going to experience unfairness between each other as well. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for good for those who love Him. 

I love the story of Joseph! I am also going through Joseph right now with our students on Wednesdays for Magnify. Joseph is an amazing example of God proving that He is always with us. The beginning of the story of Joseph starts here in Genesis 37 and it is an unfortunate story of envy and hatred. Joseph is the younger of many sons of Jacob. But because of the circumstance of his birth (being born to Jacob's favorite wife) he becomes the favorite, creating envy and anger in the hearts of the brothers. Joseph's brothers hated him to the point of wanting to kill him. They settled on selling him into slavery but only because that way they could make a profit. Envy and hatred are terrible things. The sins of the brothers were all in God’s plan and God does use Joseph in great ways after he is sold into slavery, but this is no excuse for their sin! We serve a great God who can and will use us even though we sin and do things that are wrong. Praise the Lord for this! But the hatred they showed toward Joseph was not without its own consequences. To start, we see that their father grieved for quite some time over the assumed death of his son Joseph. Our envy of others may not be to the extent of wanting to kill someone, but we all struggle with coveting something that someone else has. In my life, just like the brothers, I do not think some people have earned the “lucky hand” they have been dealt. This sort of envy can corrupt the mind! We have to be watchful that we are not coveting the things that others have. God knows you and knows what is best for you! He is the sovereign God of the universe and He cares about you deeply! Give your anger and your worries about the things you need to Him. God uses Joseph in great ways throughout his story even when Joseph had absolutely nothing. God always took care of Joseph and we are reminded time and time again that He was with Joseph. He is with us as His children! Praise God that He is present in a believer’s life!

One of the most powerful, life-giving stories you will ever read in God’s Word is the story of Joseph. No one has ever had to be as patient as Joseph with everything that he endured. Injustice after injustice after injustice did not keep him from faithfully serving the Lord, no matter what the circumstances. He is a model of Godly character for every Christian to emulate! Joseph shows us how to respond and not react to difficult people and damaging circumstances. The average person would have grown bitter and disenchanted with God, but not Joseph. He was able to “do his very best” whether in prison, in the home of a prestigious Egyptian leader, or in the palace of the king himself. When his circumstances got worse, his character got better. When he got “taken advantage of,” he focused on the next task at hand without wavering. He IS the model for you as a husband, wife, father, mother, or sibling to follow. Through all of the pain and rejection, he showed forgiveness to those who had harmed him. Joseph is a “type of Christ!” He demonstrated unbelievable forgiveness to his brothers who had sold him into slavery. When you think of our sins “nailing Jesus to The Cross,” you cannot help but be overwhelmed with gratitude. Joseph demonstrated that he was an example of this kind of love before the coming of Christ to die for us. There is no doubt that Joseph struggled through all the injustices that came his way, but he never wavered from his commitment to God. He didn’t allow his circumstances to affect his character. In fact, the more difficult the circumstance, the more faithful to God he became. Ultimately, he demonstrated unfathomable trust in God’s plan. Sometimes you cannot see God’s plan unfolding, so it’s easy to get frustrated and impatient. In these moments, remember the story of Joseph. In these moments, commit to be like Joseph. In these moments, others are watching…including your family. The fact is that how we handle disrespectful people and discouraging circumstances has power to shape our kid’s faith in one direction or the other. See your obstacles as opportunities knowing that responding or reacting has direct consequences for your family.

My wife Angela and I are a blended family. I met her kids at the ages of 5 and 7, and she met mine when he was 2. The first step of this relationship is easy because we are just establishing a report and have not yet focused on forming boundaries. Rules are a little loose and the focus tends to be on enjoying time together and showing love for one another. But this stage does not last forever, and at a certain point the love that I have for them grows and the standard by which I hold them grows as well. Now I am a father of 3 amazing kids but much like any other discipline, obedience does not come naturally to them. In fact, ever since the Fall, mankind has been born with this rebellious spirit towards both our heavenly Father and our earthly parents. In our passage in Ephesians, we see that Paul says that this is the first command that comes with a promise. The quality and quantity of your life will be greater if you follow this command to honor and obey your parents. If we want that for our children, what must we as parents do to promote obedience? And why is there such an emphasis on obedience in the first place?

It's no surprise that the world tends to contradict God’s word, and the raising up of children is no exception. Modern society is very quick to see any form of correction as wrong. It’s almost as if the world wants unguided children. While it is not a pleasant part of parenthood, we find that in Proverbs 29, we are instructed to instill and enforce this principle of obedience through discipline and reproof. Left to their own devices they bring shame and pain upon themselves and their parents. We want the best for them, and we want them to place their trust in Christ. Due to the rebellious and sinful nature of man, this can only happen to the extent that the parents are willing to fulfill their roles and steward the children that God has entrusted them with.

As for why the obedience of our children is so important. In John 8, Christ reprimands the Pharisees who claim to be the children of Abraham and calls them children of the devil, because you are the children of that which you place your obedience. “Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here.” (John 8:42a). It is out of love that parents have a duty to teach and enforce the obedience of our children. They will find themselves obedient to something, whether that is sin or righteousness.

As a man myself I see a large need to guide my sons down the right path. I can see the strength they have even at a young age and if left alone, that strength could be very destructive in their lives. I have had many instances where reproof was necessary, and I make a point to ensure that they know that correcting them is an act of love. The absence of love is indifference so the only reason that correction and discipline is necessary is because I love them and want them to see that what they are obedient to is important.

R E S P E C T find out what it means to the role of our children. The importance of our children to show and have respect towards their parents and others is just that important. We have all encountered kids who are not acting respectful and I bet that it caused you some frustration, maybe even anger. It is a natural thing we expect all humans to possess. The only problem is, it is not something we are born with, it is something we need to be taught. By teaching our kids about respect we are teaching them to put others first.

Before we can teach them what respect is we need to understand what respect means and what it is. Respect according to Webster is, “the feeling or understanding that someone or something is valuable, important, or serious, deserving of considerate treatment.”  Basically, respect is putting others before yourself. As parents we need to show our kids that other people matter because God created us all and loved each one of us. In His eyes we all have value. It is important that we teach them to have respect because God gave children the commandment in Exodus 20:12 for children to honor(respect) their parents. To me it seems that it has to be important since it has a promise attached to it. When our kids are living out their role of being respectful in the home, the environment of the home is in a much better state than when they are not. It gives a sense of order and peace.

Unfortunately, today we see a lot of disrespectful behaviors coming from the younger generation. A lot of it is because so many new parents, believers or not, are not doing their best at teaching their children to be respectful. This job is not easy! When I saw that I was given this topic I said to myself, “I am not qualified to write about respect because I feel as though I am not successful at having respectful children.” But I know that I am doing my absolute best to teach them that being respectful is important no matter if it is to me, their siblings, family, friends or authority figures. Proverbs 1:8-9 and 6:20-22 tell children to listen to the instructions and teachings of their parents because it will be good for them. We don’t want our children to be the kids that we have seen being disrespectful. Will they be perfect at it? No, and we aren’t perfect at teaching it either, and that is okay as long as we are all learning from our mistakes and moving forward. Being respectful will come with time and with us teaching at the teachable moments and leading by example. One of the greatest things to hear back from other adults is hearing that your child was living out what they were taught. It’s in those moments when we say, “Wow, what I am teaching is actually being learned!”

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24

Before we really dive into our devotional time lets get the elephant out of the room. The world reads these verses and think that Christian women are lesser than men, and that is far from the truth. When we slow down and look at Ephesians 5 through the Gospel lens, we see something very special.  We see a powerful illustration of love for the believers.  We often hear the word submission or submit and think of a loss of power or voice, and once again, that is far from the truth. Instead, we can view submission as trust. When we surrender our lives to Christ, we choose to submit ourselves to him. We see in today's verses that wives are to summit to their own husbands as you do to the Lord. Wives this is speaking about trusting in Biblical leadership in the home. When Sarah and I got married we talked about these very verses as it was important to both of us that we were on the same page. We decided that when an urgent decision is needed and it impacts the safety or health of our family, Sarah would follow my lead. 99.9999999% ( I cannot express how many .99999 it really should be) of the other times Sarah and I would make decisions together, we would talk about things and make a decision as a couple. You see ladies, the world wants you to believe that when you submit to your husband’s Biblical leadership you are becoming lesser, instead, you are choosing to honor God by embracing his design for marriage. It mirrors the relationship between Christ and the church. A relationship that is built on love, sacrifice and devotion.

Here is the kicker, the Bible does not end in verse 24, it continues on, if we peak at verse 25 we see the call for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. We all are called wives, husbands, and even kids, to reflect a model of love that we see from Jesus Christ. We must ask ourselves, are we modeling our relationship with our spouse based on the culture or based on Christlike love? At the end of the day this is not just about marriage, it's about reflecting Jesus in how we relate to others. When we live with a surrendering heart we point people to Him.

What do you think of when you hear the words “helper” or “support person?” For many, it can feel like a lesser role—like being the one who stands in the shadows while someone else leads. As a wife and mom, sometimes the role God designed for us can feel that way. It can feel less important than the role given to your husband, but that is so far from the truth.

Genesis 2:18: “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

We see that from the very beginning, God created woman not as an afterthought, but as a necessary intentional partner—called to stand beside her husband with strength, unity, and support. This kind of support isn’t divided or conditional; it’s steady and unwavering. It shows up in encouragement instead of criticism, in unity instead of division, and in choosing to stand beside your husband even when it’s hard. Undivided support isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about fully stepping into a role that strengthens, builds, and brings life to your marriage in a way only you can.
 
So what does that actually look like in our everyday lives? As Christian wives, how do we live out this kind of support beyond the idea of it even when we’re in the middle of busy schedules, hard conversations, and ordinary routines? Support starts from the inside out. When our hearts are aligned with Christ, encouragement flows more freely, respect becomes more natural, and choosing unity becomes a daily decision rather than a constant struggle. When we are rooted in Him by spending time in His Word, seeking Him in prayer, and allowing Him to shape our hearts, we begin to reflect His love in the way we show up in our marriage. Being rooted in Christ doesn’t make us perfect, but it gives us the strength to love in a way that goes beyond what we’re capable of on our own.  Being supportive can be as simple as sending a quick text of encouragement during his busy workday, making time to listen without trying to fix everything, or speaking kindly instead of harshly when tensions are high. It’s being intentional about praying for him, celebrating his victories, and being patient in moments of frustration. Even the little choices like packing his lunch for work, ordering extra fries because you know he will want them, or simply giving him a long hug after a tough day are tangible ways to show that you are walking beside him.

I encourage you to read Proverbs 31:10-12, 26-31. Are you willing to take on the role God designed for you?

Love. 1 John 4:16, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” I’m sure there are many times in which you as a spouse may not feel like loving your partner. Maybe you’re in the heat of an argument. Maybe they’ve broken your trust. Maybe they said something to hurt you. Maybe they’re being unlovable or sinful…but you’re still called to love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

The expectation is set very clearly in the Bible of how we are called to love, but husbands are distinctly and divinely called to love their wives. Unfortunately, our culture does not shine a light on the importance of this. I’ve heard and seen it said that many men by being tough and strong mask their emotions and in doing so it has negatively affected their ability to love and be loved. Loving honestly and deeply doesn’t make a husband “weak” or “soft;” it actually makes them more like Jesus. Ephesians 5:28 says, “For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.”

When we’re feeling like we don’t want to love, we have to remember what Jesus did for us. Despite our active sin and betrayal against God, His love abounded and He sent His son Jesus to die for us; out of love. 

These verses in Ephesians remind husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life up for it. Marriage is when two become one flesh. When a husband loves his wife he is tending to their marriage as well as himself. There aren’t many words I can say that are any clearer than what God’s word has for us. We were made in the image of God, and God is love.

Husbands are the head of the household as Christ is the head of the church. This is a tall order for the family, especially for the husband! The husband, the man of the household, is being compared to Christ! Leadership is one of the callings to the husband. It is the main calling. Growing in Christlikeness is a call for all believers. However, we see here that a husband's position is also linked to the position of Christ as He is to the church. Christ has done so much for the church! The verse talks about Jesus being our Savior. The kind of leadership the husband has over His family is supposed to look like that of Christ. We are to love our wives. To be there for our family. Husbands are to care for the family. When I think about Jesus, I think about a loving Savior who promises to always be with us, to be someone who will always care for the church. Jesus was a servant leader! He came and sacrificed Himself for us. This is the kind of love and leadership that Jesus has for the church and it is the kind of love we are to have for the family. I also find the use of the metaphor of the body interesting here as well. We are told as husbands that wives are a part of the flesh. This is why marriage is so important! It is set up as an illustration of Jesus and the body of Christ! Our bodies as husbands/wives are not our own. We now belong and have become one flesh with our wives! This is the same type of illustration used with the body of Christ. Wives encourage your husbands to be the leader in the household, encourage your children to respect the husband. Do all these things for the glory of God. Husbands encourage your family to follow you as you follow Christ!

Can you imagine a chef performing your open-heart surgery, or a schoolteacher replacing your transmission on your car, or a dentist attempting to build your dream home? Think about it – it seems pretty foolish! Why? It’s because each person would be “playing out of position!” Think about it from a sports perspective: Have you ever seen a football quarterback play offensive line too, or a soccer goalie try to be a downhill skier, or a baseball pitcher also playing shortstop? There’s a reason that most pitchers in the National League are terrible hitters. Why? Again, it’s not their primary position. There is something to be said about “knowing and living out” your role. The fact is that God in his perfect knowledge has designed specific roles for husbands, wives, and kids within the family dynamic. The big question is are you willing to embrace your roles? Make no mistake either, these roles are not based on “conditions.” No – God gives you roles that are meant to be embraced no matter what the other members of your family are doing! For men, you are called to lead and love; for women, you are called to support and submit; for children, you are called to respectfully and responsively obey. When each person is “living out” his or her roles, it makes the culture of the family one of grace and truth. From the beginning of time, God knew that men needed the support of women and that women needed someone to lead them. Kids need direction. All of this to say that God has created the “perfect team” with each member given specific responsibilities and roles to make it successful. Are you living out your God-given roles? Are you willing to see your roles as expectations from God that only you can fulfill in his strength? The temptation is always there to dismiss your roles, or to reject them based on what the others are doing or not doing. Don’t give in to that struggle! Thankfully, God gives to us truth from his Word that will both protect and empower our commitment to live out our roles. It may be time to “look in the mirror of your heart” and focus solely on your obedience instead of worrying about your spouse’s obedience. It starts with you! Know and “live out” your roles!

Selfishness comes in many forms and when we examine our lives, we often see the result of it everywhere. In fact, because it is such a common thread throughout all our lives, we tend to blow it off and justify it. Oddly enough, it is especially easy for those of us with families to justify selfish living. Some of the simplest and yet most meaningful aspects of my life can sometimes fall prey to inadvertent selfish living.

In our passage in Deuteronomy, we see that God has commanded us to love him with all our being and that this love that we have for him is to be manifested in every aspect of our lives by diligently teaching his word to those around us. Specifically, in our homes, with our spouse and children. The act of carrying the words that God has written on our hearts into all our affairs, can seem to come often at the cost of personal comfort. The selfless act of demonstrating the love and mercy that was so freely given to us within our homes can mean difficult conversation, late nights and navigating the limitations of our children.

Several weeks ago, I came across an article discussing the common habit that children must wait until just before bedtime to ask the silliest questions. This article resonated with me because our youngest does this EVERY NIGHT. While this is just as cute as it sounds…. every night? Don’t they know how burnt out we feel? My wife and I have three children, ages 8, 11 and 13. So between our jobs, the kid’s schedule and any extras, we can sometimes feel overwhelmed. And every night after our nightly routine, which includes some quiet time to wind down, we put the kids to bed, and it never fails……… “Dad/Mom!.......Can you come here please?”

The reality is that my children have also just had a day of their own. A day filled with new tasks and social situations that they had to navigate, with nearly no time to think for themselves and process. Now their world has slowed down, the lights have gone out, and they feel safe exploring some of their own thoughts and they want to do that with us. Often my first reaction is to quiet them down and try to get them to go to sleep. We can justify this by explaining our exhaustion and need for what this world has popularized as “self-care”. But mom and dad were at work all day and when we got home, we were “too busy” cooking dinner or attending to some other mundane tasks around the house to explore what’s important to our little ones.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed by all the noise of our day and fail to see this situation as an opportunity to practice this love by doing what is described in Deuteronomy 6:7, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”. This 8-year-old boy has just presented me with the best, most relaxing atmosphere to follow God’s command and share with him the words that God has ingrained in me. If only I could step outside of myself in those moments. If only I could see the little voice calling from the other room, not as a nuisance meant to take from me the few moments of silence that I get, but as a quiet moment of vulnerability for me to meet them where they are and share that love. Selfless living can become a practice by starting with those little moments.

How many times have you been caught in a moment when all you want to do, and have done, is yell out in frustration/anger? God’s word says that we are to give a soft/calm word and it will turn away wrath, but if we give a harsh word it will stir up anger. For most of us giving a soft answer/response is not always the easiest thing to do, especially when the person who is addressing us is already in an angry state. Our first instinct is to get angry with them, whether it is our spouse, kids, other family members or friends. We tend to match the energy the other person is giving off and why not give them the same energy back. Or we are offended by what they said, and from our offense, we lash out with the hurt we are feeling. The soft answer doesn’t just apply to us responding to someone after they first spoke to us but also to us when we are the ones who initiate. We may have a reason to be upset/angry; The kids left a huge mess, the husband forgot to take the trash out or just had a bad day. I know more times than I want to admit I have responded in anger to these situations. Most times it didn’t end well. What God is asking us to do instead is to stop and regroup before we respond. If we respond with an angry hurtful response, that will continue to escalate the situation. Even if there is a righteous reason to be angry, this verse, or any verse, doesn’t give us the okay to respond back in anger. When we stop and regroup and choose to respond with a calmer, softer response it will start to turn the heat down in the conversation. I know that when I am frustrated with my kids and know I need to be softer with my words I will sing what I need to say. It helps me to get into the right attitude even when I am upset. Our responses must continue to be calmer and softer even if the other person is not reciprocating, which will be hard. The best thing to do is to stop and ask God to help us respond in the right way, His way. We can do this even if we have already given a harsh response. There is always time to turn it around and get it right! We have all been on either side of the conversation or situation and have made the choice to give a harsh word. We know that it doesn’t feel good, but we also know that once we start to choose to do the right thing, give a calm soft word, the atmosphere changes and things start taking a turn for the better. Problems can be solved when we talk in an even calm tone and respond out of love. Let’s choose to give a soft word so that we can turn away wrath!

We have all been in a situation at some time in our lives where words were used against us that cut us like a sword. In that moment, the words cut deep and came from a disrespectful spirit. They came from anger or other emotions. We are told in today’s scripture reading that we are to use words to build each other up. We find in verse 29:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

As believers we are to speak in a way that builds others up, not according to the way we need, but according to their needs. We also notice in the last part of that scripture, that it may benefit those who listen. I don’t know about you, but I find it interesting when you are in a public place and someone is talking very loud to the point you can hear the entire conversation. In that moment, I can imagine that the person talking loudly is not aware of how loud they are being and who all can hear the conversation. That being said, we don’t need to talk loud for others to hear. I have learned this through Paisley, that how and what you say can be absorbed by those not even in the conversation. I remember watching a Michigan State Basketball game when Jordan Scott hit a 3 pointer to send the game into overtime. I jumped up and started cheering very loudly. In that moment Paisley froze, looked at Sarah and I and did the same exact thing. Now in that moment I trained her to cheer for the right colors but in today’s scripture we see that others are listening as well.

As we study through the Fam Chat Sermon series, I encourage you to take time and think about who is watching, listening, and learning from you. With that being said we look to verse 32 that reminds us:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

As we close out this week, who do you need to forgive? Maybe you need to forgive yourself. No matter what, we should take time and forgive just as Christ forgave us. Negative words and disrespectful spirits often linger in our minds, and I encourage you if you have wronged someone in these ways to apologize. If someone is trying to ask for forgiveness for wronging you, forgive as Christ did.

God gives us so many examples in the Bible of what love is, and what it is not. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
 
We all love someone deeply, a spouse, child, or friend. Yet, showing them love the way God intends is not always easy to do. Why? Have you ever played a board game with your spouse? Has your spouse ever cheated during said game? The next time you played that game with your spouse, did you bring up the fact that they cheated? It’s okay, I did too. I was not willing to lose another game and wanted to make sure he played fairly. There was a lack of trust, even in something so simple.

Now, think about it this way, have you ever been in an argument with your spouse or even your child? Have you ever brought up something they’ve done in the past during that argument? It’s okay, I have too. Honestly, sometimes it feels good in the moment to remind them of their past. Whether it was because we wanted to win the argument, had an unhealed hurt we’ve held onto, or simply to remind them so it wouldn’t happen again. When we do that, we’re not just addressing the present, we’re reopening old wounds. We aren’t allowing trust to be rebuilt. Instead of showing love and grace, we’re using past mistakes as a weapon. That’s the opposite of what God calls us to when He says love “keeps no record of wrongs.” So how can we truly leave the past in the past?

It starts with humility. Humility allows us to stop, set aside our pride, and remember that we are not perfect either. We have also been forgiven, shown grace, and shown love even when we didn’t deserve it. When we truly understand that, it becomes harder to hold someone else’s past against them. We surrender those past hurts to God and ask Him to help us respond with patience, trust, and grace. It won’t always be easy to set aside our pride and our desire to be right. However, it allows us to be able to grow stronger relationships. God calls us to have a humble and forgiving heart. When we are able to put this into practice and show the kind of love and grace that God shows us, we get one step closer to living the kind of life He desires for us. Choose to truly forgive and be humble enough to set aside your pride.

Sometimes we read scripture and think: There’s no way I can do that. God knows I’m a sinner, so what’s the point? This expectation is impossible.

“Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

These verses should be encouraging; not only to fathers, but to mothers as well. If we call ourselves followers of Jesus, we should want our children to grow up in a household that nurtures their childlike faith and helps them learn about Jesus. However, that can be much easier said than done. We have all likely fallen into the trap of discouraging our spouse or our children.

These verses are saying that when we provoke our children to anger or discourage them through a harsh response or unfair discipline, that it can ultimately turn them away from Jesus. When we intentionally respond with the love of Jesus, we are bringing them up in the instruction of the Lord. Proverbs 13:24 shares that correcting a child’s behavior is done out of love for them. When we take those circumstances of discipline and use the Bible to lead our response, we are essentially “practicing what we preach.”

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:19

In a marriage, disagreements or fights are bound to happen. A marriage is two sinful people trying to become one - there are bound to be issues. Yet the Bible is very clear about this; love your spouse and do not be harsh with them. Again, it’s easier said than done. A family unit starts with both individuals and their relationship with the Lord. Then, the marriage should be grounded in Jesus. Finally, raising children to love the Lord. Ultimately, if you as an individual spouse are not growing in your walk with Jesus, you are going to have a hard time growing together in patience and peace. Your selfishness and sinful nature will begin to creep into your marriage. A small fight with a lack of forgiveness and selflessness will harbor bitterness and very quickly turn into sin. As a spouse, specifically in this verse, husbands are called to lead their wives. The reflection of God’s love for you should overflow into your spouse.

Sometimes, these verses may feel like common sense to us but take a moment right now to pray and ask God to reveal the sin in your heart. I encourage you to humbly reflect on these verses. I think that we could all probably take a moment this week to apologize and ask for forgiveness from our spouse and children.

Admitting wrong is never an easy thing to do! No one ever likes finding out that they did something wrong. Admitting fault or admitting that you were in the wrong in a certain situation is difficult, even for children! One thing that is never fun as a parent is disciplining your children. We were on vacation for a week or so back in March and took some time to visit with my family. While we were there we went to a farm and it was a really great time! The kids got to see and touch some cool animals. As we were leaving my daughter asked if we could get something at the gift shop and I said that was not something we were going to be doing. Unfortunately, this was not well received. I understand, I was a kid once and I probably have had the same bad attitude to being told no. However, as a parent I am the leader of my children. I had to correct my daughter, telling her how she was acting was wrong. She did not like being corrected. None of us like being in the wrong! This is part of our sin nature! We like to think that we are inherently good, and that things are not our fault. The first thing Eve did when she was confronted with her sin of eating the forbidden fruit was to blame the snake. Understanding and admitting we are sinners who are capable of doing wrong is crucial! The Bible tells us to humble ourselves, and the first time we do this is at the point of salvation! There can be no salvation without understanding the need for the Savior! Without seeing with your own eyes that you are a sinner, who does things that are wrong, you will not ever accept Jesus as Savior into your life! Humility is crucial when it comes to salvation! God is so good and sometimes puts people into our lives that help us notice things about ourselves that we have chosen not to see. Be willing to listen to those who know you and want to see you grow in the Lord!

What is success in a family? Is it your son hitting the game-winning homerun? Is it your daughter getting the lead role in the school play? Is it having respectful, hard-working kids in society and school? While all of these things have value, the ultimate measurement of your family’s success will come down to having “tender hearts” toward the things of God. Does each family member genuinely love the Lord? Do they boldly stand on his truth? Do they morally make decisions to bring him the greatest honor and glory? These are the choices that a family member must make to be considered “successful” in the eyes of God. Sadly, many times these choices are not being made because of a problem that every person must overcome – pride! We want what we want when we want it. We believe that we have “all the answers” … at least in how we react to people’s effort to educate us. We struggle with being harsh, and as parents, we often create “unrealistic expectations” for our children and then get angry when they cannot meet the expectations. We “protect” ourselves at all costs, and if that means bringing up something from the past to “mudsling” at our spouse, we do it. Why? Because of pride. All of it is because of pride. It is much easier to be haughty than humble. What we need to understand is that pride is the very center of all sins, and it is the greatest struggle that the human heart will ever experience. Thankfully, God does not leave us “hanging” when it comes to pride problems. In fact, his Word is loaded with truths that will help us combat man’s greatest issue. When you take a “deep dive” into your family dynamics, is there a culture of pride or humility? One of the most important “footings” in our “family foundation” is humility. When it is present, there is nothing that cannot be fixed. When it is present, each member of your family will feel valued. When it is present, you will have joy and contentment with those you love the most. Our intention with this “footing” is to analyze and expose toxic traits that must not be allowed to exist in your home. Let’s make sure that we are proactive to avoid these issues by being humble enough to see and remove them. Let’s do it!

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.” Matthew 4:18-22

“As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, . . .” Can you picture it? Warmer weather, strolling along the shore, the smell of fresh air, the sights, the sounds. Jesus walked a lot. During the time of his ministry, walking was the chief mode of transportation. It’s been estimated that Jesus walked at least 3,125 miles during his three-year public ministry and according to In Touch Ministries, his total lifetime travel, including traveling to Galilee and Jerusalem, is over 15,000 miles. I’m ready for a warm spring walk, how about you?

The text says that Jesus “saw” two brothers. Fishermen. Note: they weren’t rocket scientists, physicists, or theoretical mathematicians. They were fishermen. And here they are laboring and working in their everyday job. Jesus didn’t necessarily call the greatest, the smartest, the best-looking, the strongest, or the most popular. Jesus called the ordinary and the hard-working.

Can you imagine hearing those words, “come, follow me”? And, does it surprise you that Peter, Andrew, James, and John were willing to follow Jesus. Did you notice that Jesus didn’t even tell them where He was going? Peter and Andrew left their nets and their business behind and followed Jesus. James and John left their father and their business in order to follow Jesus. Jesus calls us explicitly to follow Him. They were in their own comfort zone, doing what they had grown up doing and were familiar with. Now they would be leaving that to venture into the unknown. While they didn’t know what they would face, they did know who they would face it with.

To follow Jesus doesn’t just mean to walk behind Him, but to go the way He is going, do the things that He does, and act the way He acts. Jesus initiates the call, and calls us to follow Him. He has chosen us to be used to be His disciples. Jesus wants all of us. He wants all of our devotion, all of our resources, all of our commitment, all of our hearts, all of our souls, all of our minds, and all of our strength. Jesus is calling us fully. Are we willing to leave something behind in order to follow Jesus? Leave our aspirations behind. Leave our hurt behind. Leave our money behind. Leave our time behind. Leave our friends who are distracting us behind. Leave our stuff behind. 

The text today began with “walking”, when we go on a walk with someone, we first invite them. There is an invitation and a response. Jesus gave an invitation to the disciples. He said, “follow Me.” He is giving the same invitation to us today. He is inviting us to let Him into our lives and go on a life changing walk with him. 

Think about a time that you dropped everything that you were doing to go do something else. Typically, we can see that whatever needed our attention was more important than what we were doing. For example, you drop the sponge while you’re doing dishes and run outside to check on your child after hearing them cry. Or you drop your slice of pizza because you see your grandma’s beloved vase just got knocked off the bookshelf and you’re trying to catch it before it breaks. Those are silly examples, but the truth is when something more important comes along, we are quick to drop everything and go! 

“So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.” Luke 5:11

This singular verse is extremely powerful. Prior to this, Peter had not fully made the commitment to follow Jesus. At that moment, Peter knew that following Jesus was more important than continuing on his journey of being a fisherman. He left everything and followed Him. 

Why is it so difficult for us to fully commit to following Jesus? For those of us who call ourselves Christians, we still struggle to put our selfish desires down and fully follow Jesus. It’s like we are tied to an anchor and we don’t want to cut the rope. We let things like our past, our sin or our shame hold us back. We let things like our desires for success, wealth or greed hold us back. We let things like our ego, pride, fear, discontentment, anger, confusion, hurt; you name it, hold us back.

When we follow Jesus, He wants every part of us! He wants us to go all in and have the courage to drop everything and run towards Him. This is an instance in the Bible where it’s hard to comprehend the gravity of this situation. If you put yourself in Peter’s shoes, you would be leaving your job, your comfort, your identity, your livelihood; to follow a man. But this wasn’t just any man; this was Jesus. Although we all may be “dropping” something different, the idea is the same: that we have to be willing to drop everything and follow Jesus. 

The parallel in this verse is also in regards to our old life. When we call upon Jesus as our personal Savior, we drop our old self and walk in new life with Him. We are no longer slaves to sin, but free in Christ! Following Jesus is more than just attending church and maybe praying here and there. It is a daily commitment to drop everything, die to self and grow in your walk with Him.